The Devil’s Dictionary of International Relations and Foreign Affairs, Part I

I n a homage to Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary (one of my favorite books), I’ve decided to provide my own satirical take on the peculiar phrases, nonsense euphemisms, and infuriating catchwords that comprise much of the ontology of international relations and foreign affairs. 

My goal is to post a weekly installment of a few words in addition to my normal posts.

So here's Part I:

CHARM OFFENSIVE: In international relations, a cunning strategy adapted from the behavior of young children which entails acting civil towards one’s adversaries in order to gain advantage. The most agreeable form of offensive.

ATMOSPHERICS, n.: In diplomacy, phenomena of unknown origins which govern the success or failure of international negotiations.

AMBASSADOR, n. In American politics, a diplomat in name only. One who in exchange for raising large sums of campaign money for the Administration is rewarded with an archaic title and an extended overseas vacation to an inconsequential destination.

SENIOR OFFICIAL: A member of a noble tribe of unnamed peoples whose natural habitat is in the corridors of high political office. Members are known to worship an elected official as their deity in order to meet their most basic survival instinct to bask in the political power of others.

LOW-LEVEL OFFICIAL: A member of a lesser tribe of unnamed peoples who inhabit the soul-crushing machinery of government.  They exist principally to provide misleading or erroneous information to the press.